Reminder to self:

Remember how you feel at this very moment, on this very day. =)

This face, strangely, feels very LEWEI.
I've known this guy for 16 years, and looking at this face floors liang and I.. DAMN CLASSIC LEWEI. =)


This is a real life person. Anyone recognizes him?


This is me, yes. I have learnt to laugh at myself. I think.


Haha.. A day of silly pictures!

Sometimes I feel, like I am drunk behind the wheel,
The wheel of possibility, wherever it may spin.

Maybe that's why people want to get drunk, sometimes.We feel the need to take charge of our lives, but it is virtually impossible to be in total control. When it starts to feel like you are losing control, it get scary. And it comes to a point, you want to relinquish it all, lose all the strings completely.


To be set free.


I'm not saying that being drunk is being set free,
I'm just saying sometimes, it's the way you feel when you are drunk.

You do and say surprising things uncontrollably, and it's that novelty that drives people like me to drink.

This is making me sound like an alcoholic.
Haha.. To people like Joan who don't know what's really going on in my life, and just drop by in my blog to get a piece of my life, I don't drink alot, neither do I drink often.
=)

It's friggin 5 in the morning and people are waking up,
I'm listening to the sounds of my neighbours' insistent alarm clocks,
and gross spitting sounds. (you know the thing that some people do to get the flamm out of their throats? human growling, with a grainy feel to it?)
Haha..

Am thinking about how life always seem complicated.

We look back, like at Secondary School, Primary School, or when we were tiny kiddies running around with our cousins, those days we brand "the care free days".
But while it was going on, it seemed like the most complicated thing in the world.

Right now, I think the simplest thing in the world is loving someone and having him love you back. I don't know if this is going to make sense to anyone else, or if it is even going to make sense to myself tomorrow.

But at this moment, I get a warm feeling that softly throbs in me, just thinking of how amazingly contented I am.

Shall stop trying to explain myself.

Again, this post is not the most conspicuously about anything in particular. Like a diary entry.

And on that note, in the most diary-i-don't-care-who-reads-this-i-feel-like-writing-it-mushiness,

I miss being with my baby.

Sometimes I feel
Like I am drunk behind the wheel
The wheel of possibility
However it may roll
Give it a spin
See if you can somehow factor in
You know there's always more than one way
To say exactly what you mean to say



Picture courtesy of Roger Kok, the famous local freelance photographer. I've seen his work, he specialies in potraits, it's amazing. He captures the essence of the moment in all his showcased works. Be it a happy occassion or just mundane everything objects or happenings, he makes an artpiece out of it.

=)

Anyway.. I'm happy today!

Fat and happy girl.

ilu, 2. =D

I'm a rubber band.

A very old rubber band, with different stretchibility in different parts of my perimeter.

Sometimes, you could stretch me so far and for such a long time. I become thin and look like I am about to snap any moment, but still I hold out.

But you never know when I will snap.

However, I am also a mendable rubber band. I've snapped, and been super glued back.

Wah, super glue.. Must be stronger, after mending, right?

Wrong.

Makes me more brittle and snappable.

I'm a fucken rubber band.

TOTALLY FAT DAY!

A whole day of being called Yuan Yuan (round round)by Ryan, going to Central Square and being called "pang le hen duo" (fatter by alot)by the security guard, I came home and complained to my family.

And what did they say? Comfort me? Tell me I looked OK?

No!

They scrutinized me, and my sis, my mother, and father all started nodding and agreeing with everyone else.. "Uhm fei le.. fei le.." And pointed to my fatty bits and poked around.

...

Baked to death.


After an hour in the shower, mostly waiting in the queue.
I always manage to make him look squashed, don't I. haha..




I wasn't bullying him, serious.


The GOLDEN sun.


That serious face. Waiting for the bus is no joke, ya.


Our pretty ride home. =)


Chinatown.


Hen fei meh? -blames ryan-

=)

The round one trying to hide his roundness.


I can't believe it, you're a dream comin' true.
I can't believe how I have fallen for you.
And I was not looking, was content to remain.
And it's ironic to be back in the game.

My sister, the dog, and I just watched Pretty Woman on TV.

Alright, I was studying for tmr's paper, on MSN, and watching at the same time. I did manage to catch the gist of the story, and the fact that the ending is feel-good-happy. And I also was reminded of this song by Lauren Wood, damn classic.

I love Julia Roberts' movies. They always make me feel light hearted. Well, almost always. Maybe it's looking at her amazing smile and unconventionally pretty face.. Hmm..

This post is really about nothing at all.

-fuzzy love vibes to all- angela, kat, liang, laine, lemon, coco, jer, angelline, and ryannnn.

You are the one who's led me to the sun.
How could I know that I was lost without you...
And I want to tell you, you control my rain..
And you should know that you are life in my veins.

When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest night
you just call out my name
and you know where ever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there
You've got a friend.

I love this song. Blog reading today was pretty different. Maybe it's the holidays, or the fact that Friday gives everyone some time to sit down and write about their lives.

Cheer up, ya all.
Little princess with a new cut, credits to the sister groomer.


UHm.. Sometimes when I read or hear about a friend's problem, I think to myself, Am I in position to offer help? Even if I try, how much can I do? And more often than not, I end up watching from the sidelines. This is the case with most people.

Come to think of it, what if everyone thought like that?

Oh no.. Cannot, cannot.

It cannot be really explained what kind of help a person who is feeling down needs. When I think of myself being unhappy, I think I need company, hugs, concerned faces, and fun. Sometimes, advice. Sometimes, peace and quiet. Sometimes, to be alone. What about everyone else?

How do you tell?

I guess, no problem is out of the league of a good friend.



If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
all you got to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them

Is being thoughtfully in pain a prerogative (yes I learnt that word from the damn britney spears' song.) to young people?

Or is it trendy to be dramatic?

Or is it something that we must go through to "grow-up"?

Probably, it's one of those that you think, OH IT'LL GO AWAY.. But never does.

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me.

Thanks, round one. For every smile. =)

Would you rather experience the sunrise, or the sunset?

What if you were with the person you loved, Sunrise, or Sunset?

Jaded

Seems like a convinient word to describe my feelings whenever I don't quite know what I'm feeling. These few days have been float-y and awkward for me, head being in a daze all day, and pills just making everything more surreal.

It's like PMS, I know if I just got some fresh air and got down to doing things I would probably feel better, but I just had no energy to start.

It's weird how, now. I have more than I bargained for in life, yet I'm being mood swingy and weird.

-shakes self- (gently, so as not to upset my swollen brains)

I'm lying in bed, with a bad, dry taste in the back of my throat. I'm sitting in from of my screens, with a bad dry taste in the back of my throat. I'm walking the dog, with a bad, dry taste at in the back of my throat.

I'm complaining, yadayadayada blabber. With a bad, dry taste in the back of my throat.

Someone!! Grab me and give me a huge hug and tell me I'm ok.

UHm.

If you really want something to be heard, say it anonymously.

That's when the focus becomes the words that were said, and not the intentions of the person who said it.

Because if the person whom you meant the words to be said to knew you were saying it, he would naturally form impressions of your likely intentions, and the attention would be on them.

So, I say, just be unamed, and let him guess.

He is likely to guess someone whose intentions he would be impressed with.

"There's much more to being a chef than just assembling ingredients. It's like the difference between a pianist and a composer. The pianist is creative, certainly, but he is only the mouthpiece of the person who dreamed the tunes into life.

To be a cook, it's enough to be a pianist, - a performer of other people's dreams. But to be a chef, you have to be a composer as well. For example, the recipes you are going to eat tonight are all traditional dishes from old Rome- but if all we do is simply recreate the past, without trying to add to it, it stops becoming a living tradition and becomes history, - something dead.

So we owe it to the chefs of the past, to continue to do as they did, - to experiment."

- The Food Of Love by Anthony Capella

It's delicately ornate paragraphs like this one, along with all the italian swearing (english translation included), and the extravagent sounding recipes that made me fall almost in love with this book.

I've sinfully indulged the entire day to reading it, amongst other things.

It's one of those books, you think, I'm going to have to read this the second time to fully appreciate all this... But I know I won't ever. So I try to pace myself, stretching the pleasure as long as I possibly can. But the more tantalizing and pleasurable it is, the more it makes me want more at the same time. So I slurppppppped it all up, and succumbed with abandon.

=)

Like an amazing, tiny bowl of expensive soup.

It's the same with relationships, if you think about it. It's the novelty of discovering small little new things about each other that makes it deliciously exciting. You want to discover each miniscule detail, each tiny secret, examine it slowly, turn in around, inside out, then lock it up inside your heart. Yet at the same time you want to take him all in at the same time, filling yourself up with him.

I can imagine Jerome's little snicker if he reads this.

SIA is recruiting!

Requirements

- Singapore citizenship or PR status; or Malaysian citizenship
- At least 1.58m in height
- At least 2 GCE ‘A’-level credits and 2 ‘O’-level credits including General Paper in the GCE ‘A’-level examination, or a Diploma from a local polytechnic; (Applicants with higher qualifications are welcome to apply.)
- Willingness and commitment to serve a compulsory service bond

Preference will be given to candidates who are able to speak a foreign language or are experienced in customer service.

Training & Bond

If you make it through our rigorous selection process, you will undergo about 4 months training and will be required to serve a service bond.

Remuneration and Service Benefits

Apart from the opportunity to experience various cultures and meet new people from around the world, upon completion of training, you can also look forward to salary and allowances of about S$3,500 a month, an annual wage supplement of one month’s basic salary and profit-sharing bonus. You will also be entitled to free travel to any SIA destination once a year and enjoy discounted travel at other times. There is an attractive annual leave scheme and comprehensive training programmes.

Interviews will be conducted in Singapore on 29 January 2005. Only shortlisted applicants will be notified by email.

Their previous recruitment drive was in November last year, so I can generally assume that they recruit about once every 3 months. That would make the next recruitment drive happen in April! That is almost the perfect timing. Haha.. I might try for the heck of it!

If you can't resist the temptation, succumb with abundance.

uhmmmm. =)

Being loved softens the hardest hearts.

Reaching home at 11 plus, 12 plus, 1 plus. That's nothing new for me, is it. But these few days, I came home at these times to an family of smiling faces sitting in the brightly lit living room. We've all been helping my mom with her work, packaging and price tagging the products she sells for her boss in the day.

Everyone at the table, my Dad's korean VCD playing in the background, the baby puppy sitting at our feet. Talking bad about my Mom's fucked up boss, sharing stories that happened in the day.

And the added presence of Hao Ge, my sis's boyfriend, makes the house seem warmer and the family more.. abundant.. =)

Just being around them made me feel better! =)

The picture on the left of the carousel was taken in Paris, 1989. The words "100 Ans" mark the Tower's centennial. =) To be visited one day!

My girlies from school.
Ling, Laine, Angela and I outside LT.
Ling has a new name, Isa. I read that it is Jesus in Arabic for men.
Don't know for women tho. Weiling, keep it. I think it's pretty good.


In the LT, Angela and Laine.

My group girlies. It was VERY
cold in the project room. MeiQi looks slightly crazed.

My home girlie. Looking very skinny in her bath.

One of my less masculine girlie, at supper a few nights ago.
Cute, ain't he?

-says hi- to Ryan, Worgieeee, Jer, Isa, Angela, Laine, KAT THE BEST FRIEND, IANSOH!, peter, chin, Lemon, Feng kor, Don!

Thanks for reading my carousel blog. =)

Oh look at that pimple!
Haha.. Alright that should not be the focus of the picture.

New Year's Eve at Alley Bar.

Rian and Vernon showing their best assests. Vernon should be the better kisser, we thinks.


Ryan and I at dinner.


Oh so cute, Melissa.


When there are boys, there will be pretend-gay pictures.


And everybody leans in..


Roger, if you have time, help me create an album in your imagestation, i'll do the uploading for the rest of the pics, K? Thanks angel.

Two Thousand and Five.

Been a pretty good year so far.
=)

Ryan eating dumplings. Haha..


"You won't understand.."

Young people have this insatiable need for life to be better.
Remember that cab driver I was talking about?
He told me that we should all just love and be loved,
and be contented with life?

Look at the things that you have, and tell me in the eye you are not a fortunate soul.
Why is it then, we are not happy?
What can life give us that will make us feel absolutely fulfilled?
There is no such thing as the ideal situation.
What kind of job, girlfriend, money, happiness do you need before you can sit back and say, "This is it, and I shall embrace it.."

Dennis was talking about the Butterfly Effect,
how the guy in the show kept going back to his past to make the future better.
How silly is this butterfly guy?

Putting it in a less pretty way, something has to be fucked up..

The only person who can pull you out of the black hole is yourself.
Advice and confiding is only input and output,
but the processing is within you..
I can only tell you that life is good,
but you got to realize how good before you can actually receive and enjoy it for real...

Happiness is right next to you.. Just turn to it.