Coldplay

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.

I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called yellow.

So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all yellow.
Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.

I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
Cos you were all yellow,

I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all yellow.

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.

I've missed Coldplay in the back my heart for awhile.
And I saw a special on them on TV! All half hour of Coldplay songs..
The half hour was closed with the MTV of Yellow,
and I love every moment of that.
The stars, the sky lighting up,
the funny shaped teeth behind Chris's teeth..
I miss watching the sunrise.. It has been what.. Years?
Check coldplay out on their website,
very excellent flash, i registered just so they can allow me to change the website's colour hee.

Anyways, deleted the angry post bitching about my Psychology groupmate,
because we did perfect without her anyways.
OK, not perfect, but much better than I had expected to do.
3 of the girls actually had pretty good presentation skills.

Things are OK, tho like EVERYONE is complaining, even kat,
we have TOO many datelines.
Can't wait for graduation, then maybe I could go on a much needed holiday.
-happy- =D

I don't have to make excuses for my desire as a man.

For those who try to justify who you are, stop doing it, man.
It only goes to show that you feel that you have to answer to others about how you lead your life.
Nobody is perfect. No two persons are exactly the same.
That, sorta makes everyone fairly the same.
Haha.. What I'm trying to say is.. There is thinking about life, and then there is thinking too much..

Just be, alright? If you keep trying to justify yourself to people who can't be at peace with who you are, you can't be at peace with yourself.

That aside.

This is the turning point for many people. In a month or so we would be completing our time in poly, and moving on to come out of the chrysalis state.. Before we can break out of poly tho, they are giving us the ultimate test of crazy datelines all lined up TOGETHER. They should NEVER condense a bloody semester like that, man. And to think we all thought our timetables were damn slack when we got it last year.. Man, alive, I'm tired.

And now, we have to decide where to go in the fork of the road.. Not just 2 directions to choose from, but about a few hundreds each. This could decide what kinda life we lead for the rest of our lives.. COULD la. I'm still waiting for self-realization to happen ha..

Feel like a clumsy bambi, struggling over the obstacles I should be good at overcoming.

Thank goodness I have someone to cushion my bumps and hold me when the need arises. =) Thanks baby, for listening and talking to me. Taking care of me, and laughing at and with me. Trying to set my path right, and all the advice. Dancing with me. Playing with me. What you've given is a thousandfold of that. I could never cherish you enough, and sometimes my heart aches for that.

Also, thank goodness I have Katherine, who always makes me feel bad about myself in a good way. Haha.. If that even makes sense. She's always giving me, la.. And I'm always being the sloppy best friend.. But she sticks around.. Hais. Silly Kat.. Don't deserve her..

Woot haven't blogged so personally for some time.

Sleeping pills needed!

I'm really, really tired. But I cannot sleep. Was moving my photos from back up CDs into my laptop, and found some stuff that made me laugh.

Here's a refeature of Bernard's 18th birthday. Dedicated to the old birds from 4G, Kat Lu, Fat, Wei, and Berji.

It was late night before the last train, and we just somehow ended up at the Esplanade, and terrorised the whole place from Esplanade to Citylink mall to the mrt station to the train to tampines to SunPlaza Park. And here are the photos:

The boys.


Kat in the middle of it all.


Young men, buay kia si.


I swear, non of us took a drop.


"heylookwecanrunoutofthedoorandpointatthesignQUICKANLITAKEAPICTURE!andrunbackbeforethedoorcloses!wahaha!"


Everyone tried doing this, but only he could.


This gay thing seems to be done by guys of all ages. Is it some kind of secret fantasy?


Paya Lebar remembers us.


The bearcicle pic. Berji, you should sing the song for Melanie. Share some good times.


Here we sang many beyond songs, hokkien songs, and made up some terrible sounding accapella. Haha.. Good times.


And for good measure.


There are a million more where that came from. You guys, you were what made me young. Wont's forget ya all for that! haha.. =)

eNTHUSIASM fAILS mE.

I miss having the chance to be excited about something.

Watching survivor on TV, and it's really like a "mini-life" game. It may be games with big puzzles and some silly stripping and obstacles courses, but in a smaller scale, you really use the same skills in life as you do to play the game.

You can use your communication skills, your sex appeal, your conscience, or lie and mind fuck your way through the game. You play in teams, you can play diplomatically, or you can choose to be arrogant and step on the other team's morale on purpose to get your team further.

But the twist is you may eventually need to depend on the people you screw with now, to get what you want in the future. Mostly, you can't help but have to lie. Sometimes, your strength brings you further. Sometimes, your strength gets you down.

So often, the weakest person turns around to be the strongest in a matter of minutes.

Maybe that's why it's pretty fun to watch. A lot of psychogames involved, though we don't know how much of it is staged.

They should have an international Survivor. Where all the players are from different nations, with different cultures. Now that'll be a party.

All tt survivor talk aside, here's a picture of my babies.


I have no eyes.


好想好想和你在一起
和你一起数天上的星星
收集春天的细雨
好想好想和你在一起
听你诉说古老的故事
细数你眼中的情意
好想好想和你在一起
并肩看天边的落日
并肩听林间的鸟语
好想　好想　好想　好想
好想好想和你在一起
踏遍万水千山
走遍海角天涯
让每一个日子
都串连成我们最美丽
最美丽的回忆！

You can't make a true committment until you realize that it will be a choice you will keep choosing over and over again for a long time.

Every single day, and moment.

close your eyes, sleep is more than it seems.
soon you'll discover a garden of dreams.
of blossoming tapestry- lights up the dark.
dreams are the flowers that bloom in your heart.

I'm sleepy, and unproductive.
Sinfully so.

I think my only consolation now is that I have no appetite. It's about time, anyway. Have been putting on weight at a pretty scary rate, with the festives coming at a bad time and all that.

Here's a picture of us on da nian chu yi of lunar new year.



He says I hide behind him for many pictures, probably due to the size of my face. So we took one where he could hide behind me instead



I wanna take more piccccctures!

Talk about surviving..

This is a story I got off a site.

"Christmas Eve morning a soldier came into a clinic at the Ibn Sina Hospital in downtown Baghdad covered in his own blood. He recounted an incredible story. Early Christmas Eve morning, two squads were assigned to sweep and clear two adjacent homes where Iraq terrorists were holed-up. The patient, SGT C, was leading one of those assault squads. The other squad hit their target first.

SGT C said that he heard a lot of small arms fire and yelling, so he thought he would round the corner and size up the situation before advancing his team. Unfortunately, as he turned the corner, he found himself staring directly into the barrel of a 9mm automatic pistol. SGT C said he never had time to be scared, he just knew he was dead. The terrorist pulled the trigger and, miraculously, SGT C found himself still standing. He figured the bullet had missed. He advanced on the Iraqi, who immediately surrendered. After the enemy was rounded up, SGT C said he started to feel light headed and one of his soldiers insisted that he proceed to the hospital. He realized at this time that he had lost his front tooth in the gun fight. He figured the ballistic shock from the weapon's blast had knocked it loose. He was wrong.

When he presented early that morning Major Kimberly Perkins, the oral surgeon, took a panograph and discovered the incredible truth. The 9mm bullet did NOT miss SGT C. He was hit directly in the face. The bullet entered just below his nose where it impacted the apex of #8. The energy from the bullet was transferred to the tooth, literally ejecting the tooth from its socket, and stopping the bullet in its track. Other than the missing tooth, the majority of SGT C's injuries were confined to soft tissue.

SGT C is a citizen soldier - a reservist. When he returns to the states, the Army will see he has an implant replacement for the missing #8. Meanwhile, the prosthodontist in Baghdad, LTC Richard Druckman, made him an acrylic interim treatment partial. When SGT C came in for the prosthesis, I said "Can you imagine what the enemy thought when he shot you point blank in the face, and you just kept coming at him! Americans are invincible. No wonder he surrendered so fast!"

SGT C smiled and said, "This is why you should always brush your teeth!""

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star
15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way
Every day's a new day...

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live


-----------------

We're 22, and we're on fire.

This song plays in my head whenever I feel like I am being a child, or when I feel really jaded and old. Or when I go to sleep after a bad day. Or when I feel scared about my future. Or when I feel I love someone more than I possibly am capable of. Sort of gives hope..

Song of all moments!

Finally moving along with the deadlines, and certain things are no longer floating. Rush of relief coming from many directions. I feel sorta.. More.. Real.

-squeezes own flesh in relish-

=D ,and weiling.. waaaasup? u're pretty hot too.

In hiatus.

All my life
Is changing everyday
In every possible way
And all my dreams
It's never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems
I know I've felt like this before
But now I'm feeling it even more
Because it came from you
And then I open up and see
The person falling here is me
A different way to be
I want more (impossible to ignore)
And they'll come true (impossible not to do)
And now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don't hurt me
You're what I couldn't find
A totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me

All my life
Is changing everyday
In every possible way
And all my dreams
It´s never quite as it seems
Because you´re a dream to me (a dream to me)

test

I had the most horrible dreamset this morning.

I dreamt that I met my secondary school 4G friends on an outing (which I was asked to) and Liang had a new girlfriend who was so not his type. The rest of the guys tried to hide the girl from me for some reason, and when asked "Where is Wan Xin?", everyone pointed to the strange girl. Then I left my friends and went to a store (NTUC) to buy condoms. I don't know why condoms, but condoms, ok? The store had run out. They only had a few which were already opened, and they tried to get me to buy them. Haha..

SO I did not buy any, and went back to my room mate. He then brutally murdered a woman named Eleanor in front of me. He put her in our bathtub, and started to speak to her..In the next room, I realized that he has gone kuku, and wanted to run away. I was completely naked, and I was a man. So, I grabbed some boxer shorts and started to run out to the corridoor, before kuku decided Eleanor needed company in hell. I ended up in a dorm room, on the bed. It was very close to kuku and my own room, because I could hear him cutting her skin up. He was going to perform an autopsy for her in the bathtub, and though i wasnt in the room, i could see it all in my head, him cutting her down the middle, the two ways along the shoulders. I stuck a knife in my leg out of the agony of having to see that.

Watching CSI before going to bed is a bad, bad idea.

Something nobody would ever understand about myself.
It's not that I expect people to understand.

All my life, I have been the girl who never finishes her homework on time and had to stand outside the class with the boys. The kid whose colour pencils were never arranged in order of the shades of colours, nor sharpened.

From young, my dad nagged about the state of my room, "Look at the things you throw around your room!" and his prediction since I was in primary 1, as embarrassing as it was, "When you grow up and start wearing bras, they WILL be lying around in a horrible fashion around your room." And... he was right.

Fortunately, his more recent prediction, "Your boyfriend will run away when he sees your messy space!" did not come true.

Heehee..

Do not misunderstand my acceptance of my untidiness as arrogance, I do not think that living like I do is really appropriate. However, at this point in time, my efforts seem to be pretty much useless.

I do appreciate people who attempt to improve the situation when they drop by, people like Lemon and Ryan, and sometimes Kat.. Thanks!

But I think my short term goal in terms of my being untidy, would be to draw the line before being dirty.

-hug- kat n ryan

omg, help.

Close your eyes so your don't feel them
They don't need to see you cry
I can't promise I will heal you
But if you want to I will try

I'll sing this somber serenade
The past is done
We've been betrayed
It's true
Someone said the truth will out
I believe without a doubt, in you

You were there for summer dreaming
And you gave me what I need
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity...
For eternity

Yesterday when you were walking
We talked about your mum and dad
What they did that made you happy
What they did that made you sad
We sat and watched the sun go down
Picked a star before we lost the moon
Youth is wasted on the young
Before you know it's come and gone to soon..


You were there for summer dreaming
And you gave me what I need
And I hope you find your freedom
For eternity...
For eternity


I've always toyed with the idea of living by myself.
Paying my own utilities, buying my own groceries, and cooking dinner with my own pots and eating in my own dining room.
Washing my own laundry, decorating my own place.

live. love. crash. burn.

The dog falls asleep on my bed.