Kat is still the same

Kat and I talked about not getting personal in writing online.

I realized how impersonal I get nowadays. (I always have trouble with that. Im,Un,Dis) The more I see people whine, the more I feel it's for self-validation, the less I want to be like that. I'm so afraid to appear as someone I won't like, I don't quite appear anymore. Ah, well.

Managed a serious fuck-up at work recently, and it was all it took to take a huge bite off my spirit. Yeah, I can say the comforting things myself, people make mistakes, it will all seem ok in awhile.. But SHIT why did I have to fuck up?

Please refer to paragraph above. See, when I write about things that happen to me, it sounds like nobody would quite know what I'm talking about. No la, I'm not trying to be secretive. No *ahems* and xxx unmentionables.

TohKiYoKoo!

Warning: Strong homsexual content.



I've bitched about Japanese being crazy fuckers who have the most deviant entertainment industry.

But hey, at least he is really helpful.

This is totally unlike the harmful crap they do in American TV, like Jackass. Or video clips of people tasering their balls. Or if any 4G guys are reading this, The Funky Chickens.


Ripped off Hedonistica.

Hungry

Pictures page with some CAAS people in them.

Try to notice, do you like to talk and think about the past, future, or present?

I like to talk about the past. Things that won't ever happen the same way again. What about you? Not much significance in your answer, just thought sometimes its fun to reflect.

I like to talk about Cherie and I playing ALL our silly games and calling Twinkle Friends when we broke a vase and were so worried about getting a scolding. About the days in Anglican when Tze Huey, Si Ning, Ting Ting, Zhi Qing and I were so close. About the trainings and fun we had. About my sister teaching how to write the chinese character "xiao", my first character, by the mantra "shu gou dian dian". About how I felt like I was super clever by behaving super good so that the teacher would be nice to me, but knowing I was a naughty child inside.

Stuff like that. It's different from talking about the present and future. Talking about the present might change things that you don't want changed, and talking about the future is stressful because it is anything you want it to be. But ya, also hopeful and beautiful if you are a solid person, la.

But the past is a story that needs no decisions, anymore. The kind of relief when things are over and done with. You find it all with the past.

Very lazy, right?

I don't know if I am surprised that so many people don't want to take life into their own hands. Myself included. Much like would say, "yi qie dou shi tian yi", and how would say "its not easy.. to be me" It is tiring to be in charge, I guess.