Kat is still the same

Kat and I talked about not getting personal in writing online.

I realized how impersonal I get nowadays. (I always have trouble with that. Im,Un,Dis) The more I see people whine, the more I feel it's for self-validation, the less I want to be like that. I'm so afraid to appear as someone I won't like, I don't quite appear anymore. Ah, well.

Managed a serious fuck-up at work recently, and it was all it took to take a huge bite off my spirit. Yeah, I can say the comforting things myself, people make mistakes, it will all seem ok in awhile.. But SHIT why did I have to fuck up?

Please refer to paragraph above. See, when I write about things that happen to me, it sounds like nobody would quite know what I'm talking about. No la, I'm not trying to be secretive. No *ahems* and xxx unmentionables.

TohKiYoKoo!

Warning: Strong homsexual content.



I've bitched about Japanese being crazy fuckers who have the most deviant entertainment industry.

But hey, at least he is really helpful.

This is totally unlike the harmful crap they do in American TV, like Jackass. Or video clips of people tasering their balls. Or if any 4G guys are reading this, The Funky Chickens.


Ripped off Hedonistica.

Hungry

Pictures page with some CAAS people in them.

Try to notice, do you like to talk and think about the past, future, or present?

I like to talk about the past. Things that won't ever happen the same way again. What about you? Not much significance in your answer, just thought sometimes its fun to reflect.

I like to talk about Cherie and I playing ALL our silly games and calling Twinkle Friends when we broke a vase and were so worried about getting a scolding. About the days in Anglican when Tze Huey, Si Ning, Ting Ting, Zhi Qing and I were so close. About the trainings and fun we had. About my sister teaching how to write the chinese character "xiao", my first character, by the mantra "shu gou dian dian". About how I felt like I was super clever by behaving super good so that the teacher would be nice to me, but knowing I was a naughty child inside.

Stuff like that. It's different from talking about the present and future. Talking about the present might change things that you don't want changed, and talking about the future is stressful because it is anything you want it to be. But ya, also hopeful and beautiful if you are a solid person, la.

But the past is a story that needs no decisions, anymore. The kind of relief when things are over and done with. You find it all with the past.

Very lazy, right?

I don't know if I am surprised that so many people don't want to take life into their own hands. Myself included. Much like would say, "yi qie dou shi tian yi", and how would say "its not easy.. to be me" It is tiring to be in charge, I guess.

"He crawled out of the window"

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German woman was so shocked by a spider crawling across her face that she lost control of her car and crashed head on into a roadside tree, police in the western town of Rheine said on Thursday.
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The 23-year-old woman screamed and let go of the steering wheel, causing her small car to veer off the road into the tree. The car was totally destroyed but the woman escaped with only slight injuries, a police spokesman said.

"She was shocked by the spider crawling on her face and lost control of her car," said the spokesman for the police in the small town near the Dutch border. The spider survived, he said.

"He crawled out of the window."

Google Talk

Here

Very clean cut with excellent audio communication option. Very clear, just like talking on the phone. Loving it, we're both loving it.

Circles

Some people like to think of life as a cirlce, where it begins at one point, and we finally rest (not die la, just be at peace) when the circle is completed and our agenda can become memoir.

When we were babies, waking every morning marks a brand new day. Our agenda was to be happy, and to do that, we simply did what we liked.

As we grow older, it gets harder. To fulfil our main agenda of being happy, I mean.

Our needs and wants grow. We need material things. We need attention from people other than our families. We need acheivements. Gratification.

We start to have to make other people happy to be happy. Expectations fall on our shoulders. Responsibilities become priority.

In all that, our agenda list becomes longer, and soon, Happy either falls down the list, or gets confused and lost amongst the other items on the agenda.

Life indeed is a circle. But it does not begin in one point and move in a one track manner in a circle to complete it. You start in the middle, and then you're on your own. But there are always edges, i.e. family and people you love, who keep it real and make sure you don't fall off your circle.

Keep your circle together!

This post is so mushymushy. Anyways, I have added blogroll links after I saw my site on blogshares, and thought it quite interesting the list of people who link me.

And on another totally unrelated note, this comment insulted my post:

Anonymous said...

Feeling lonely? Hook up with Real Singles now for $4.99 to connect, and only $0.99 a min. A true match is only a phone call away. Give it a try 1-800-211-9293.

It was a comment to my kiddie photos of famous TV people. Go figure.

"Life is like a box of chocolates

"you'd never know what you're gonna get"

Well then life can be like many things, can't it.

That's what I thought when I first heard this line in Forrest Gump.

It could be the huge, nicely wrapped gift at the foot of the christmas tree. Or maybe, it could even be like dishes on the table that was cooked and covered up with a "table-umbrella".

Or, I could pick up a random piece of crap, wrap it with a newspaper, hold it up to you, and say

"Life is just like a piece of crap. You'd never know what you're gonna get."

Why not you?

How often do we hear, "Why me?"

How often do you think or whine "Why me?"

I think there is an answer to that, after all.

"Why not you?"

The choices, miniscule and "life-altering", that we make in the course of carrying on our lives can have all kinds of repercussions in our future. There's no telling what are the full consequences waiting in store for you in the years to come.

You can't decide what is fair, and what is not.

You can only make the best of it, face the music and be careful when you make the rest of your choices.

angelainember
No, really, that's a young helen hunt.
(babe, now you know how you're gonna age?)


She was born a Carrie Bradshaw!


Julia Roberts


Liang/Kat: Doesn't this just ring CHANDLER?

non-feet dancing

I've posted this before, but, wow.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give fate the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith the fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,

I hope you dance.

The New Emo.

Has anyone else seen the stop emo haircuts video on hedonistica?

Sometimes the internet feels like a caterpillar travelling.

That's how trends move, too. This was also pointed out by chinese journalists back in the 90s, the Gen X, Gen Y, Gen bla branding of young people. I think we have achieved level Z today, in their standards.

Naturally, technology, connection speed and software developement will always create changes.

Webpages with midi music and cute, moving gif animations were the thing. IRC took up most of our internet bandwidth.
Then Frontpage generated Websites with "Personal Bio", "Guestbooks" and "Diary" took over.ICQ's "uh-oh!" was "in". Yahoo! ruled. Hotmail rUlEd.
Blogger, livejournal, diaryland, xanga came into the picture. Google is all-purpose, and it's gmail has 1 GIGABYTE of storage! MSNmessenger, AIM, SKYPE.

Internet attitude has also taken a turn.

Notice, how most of the "blogebrities" like tuckermax, maddox, xiaxue, thebigfuck either have huge egos they can't stop talking/writing about, or hate everything else, or, even more commonly, both?

THAT, is the new emo. No, it's no longer enough just to know big words to express your feelings with. NO.. Depression and suicide is not trendy!!!! God FORBID "artsy fartsy" pictures that have been through photoshop filters.

To be "famous" online, you have to first have flawless english, and good to excellent typing habits. A more than healthy confidence also helps, better if it tetters on narcism, best if it's full blown self centered egoistic. You must be "unique" and have a relatively mindblowingly high level of "intelligence".

You must have fans.

I never realized that this was quite a sad concept, until I chanced upon this dunmanian girl's blog. Her command of language is pretty good, but her life, which she writes about is pretty much that of a 15 year old dunmanian girl. And when she keeps lamenting that her blog is famous because she got plugged by a 'blogebrity' , it gives me the creeps. She uses the word colloquial in her page title, followed by "-understand?" hmm...


I have a 10 KG dictionary sitting on my shelf. You have not? Have not? Huh,huh,huh?

People are the worst!

Fucking horrible, people.

I feel like slapping myself in the face for being one of us.

Some bloody theif stole a thousand dollars from my colleague's atm account, when she left her card in the slot after a transaction.

WHY must people be so greedy for fast cash? Nahbei.

I hate people.

-sulk-

Life kicks you when you're down

Perhaps, hoping the boot in your ass will jolt you awake.

I was moping about nothing in particular on the way home, and all the sounds on the streets bothered me. Someone stepped on my shoe, and a kid on a bike rode too close to me. Crossing the road, because of my hesitance, nearly made a taxi hit me. And two, seperate, different flying roaches hit me, once on my arm and another on my leg.

Perhaps if I had been more upbeat, maybe I would have been less fearful of the strange sounds, or perhaps not even notice them. I would have walked a little faster and watched my way, and missed the roaches, bike, and taxi.

In that theory, if you keep being a negative person, and add more moping because of the kicks that were meant to wake your idea up, you'd be getting more kicks than you can handle. To all the people who keep asking, "Why me?" Here's your answer. Because u're asking for it.

Cheer up, ya all.

The Punishee

Yes, I know the true word is actually "punished".

I've probably talked about this before, but it just keeps coming up. The vicious cycle of THE PUNISHER and THE PUNISHEE.

When two people are really close, expectations tend to exist. Not just speaking of man-woman relationships (see how we have upgraded from boy-girl?), but also between platonic friends. The expectation of sensitivity to feelings. Understanding. Time committment. As such.

When comes expectations, then comes the possibility of let-downs. There's nothing complicated in this equation, is there?

The complication comes in a sub equation.

Expectation = Possible letdown

when "letdown" does occur, "upset" is bound to be generated.
letdown = upset

upset=punishment

punishment=letdown

upset = letdown

and the cycle continues, upset=letdown=upset=letdown=upset=letdown ...

So, what's left is fundamentally just a huge ever growing chunk of letdown and upset, mixed with regret and simultaneously punishment, and other things.

When I talk about punishment, I don't mean making the person kneel on nails and whipping them, but those subtle little slow killers. For example, keeping real quiet when around your partner.

Partner: "What's wrong?"
You (grimmed faced): "Nothing."

Yes, that is, indeed, a kind of punishment. If you are unaturally quiet, you say why. If not, you're upset. And the punishee would be punished, by silent treatment, without even being able to acknowledge that he is being punished.

Seriously, who reads my shite?

(Thanks for reading my shite ha)

Drama Mother (ie. Mama)

All who have successfully upkept a blog for longer than a few months, are drama queens, and quite often, self centered......

I have been a drama queen for almost 3 years. (!) And quite often self centered...

All that tears, laughter, unhappy words, happy words, boredom.. Everything la. But anyways like I'm fond of saying these days, Everything Happens For A Reason. No, that isn't a song title, just I felt it deserved those capital letters.

People like to brand weird phases in their lives as "self discovery" phases. And I shall follow suit. Have been closing up on people around me recently, and it has helped me learn more about myself, mostly my level of self sufficiency. And what have I discovered from my period of weirdness? I'm not trying to be funny, but I learned that I will always be weird. Really, la. And I think Ryan learned that with me. And possibly a little on how to handle my weirdness. =)

They say life is a journey..

Doesn't that make the destination death?

"I love you"

Carrie cheated on her partner.

She wanted to tell him the truth, but she did not know how. When he told her that he thought flaws were the best part of women, she came close to telling him.

"I have something I have to tell you.."

She looked at him, and saw the way he looked at her. She suddenly could not say the words, knowing that he would never look at her that way again, if she did. So, she said,

"I love you."

Though I cannot relate to this cheating situation, I can certainly relate to the way she avoided saying what she originally wanted to say. Since when has "I love you" become an avoidance strategy, when it seems like anti-avoidance itself?

Remember?

Remember the days photos were not so absurb?

Broccoli

I loved Broccoli.

Because it is easy to cook,

Because it is delicious with just simple seasoning,

Because it is healthy,

Because it becomes that pretty, healthy green after boiled,

Because it is really a flower,

Because my boyfriend likes it too,

Because I don't have to feel guilty when I eat alot of it.

I cooked broccoli today, and floating right along with the foam after it boiled, was a few hundred little bugs.

I don't love Broccoli anymore.

爸,我回来了。

Sometimes when you get too immersed in a situation, the things that should matter more, start to matter less, and the lesser things, mean more.

Right, I am back, have been doing well, just online alot less.



I just saw a little bit of Dogville on TV, before I got distracted by the phone. It starrs Nicole Kidman, and is about an isolated town, and she was taken in as a refugee, but later became Dogville's prisoner. She is chained to a big and heavy wheel, which she drags around, connected to her by a chain which in turn is connected to a cuff around her neck. In the most inhuman way, a bell (much like the one below, except shaddier) is attached to the cuff. As if dragging the rusty wheel would not make enough noise for her to be noticed should she try to escape.



The movie is shot in theatre-like scenarios, and all the walls of Dogville are "eliminated" on screen, in order for multiple things to be seen on screen simultaneously. For example, we'd be watching Nicole Kidman sleep exhaustedly in her small space, while in the background the town is plotting her imprisonment in the townhouse meeting. Also, spaces are minimised to the maximum (ahem), and the entire Elm Street on Dogville fits into a stage-like set, where the entire film is shot. White lines on the floor with words to indicate spaces replace walls, and the whole place's surface is dark chalkboard green. Sort of like the Marauder's Map from Harry Potter, except you see real life people in 3 dimension. The background also becomes plain, when it is day, they live in a white box, and at night, a black one.


Here is a shot from the movie "koped" off the show's website, tvropa.com. Beside Nicole Kidman (Grace, in the show), you see the metaphoric drawing of BUSHES on her left, and two GOOSEBERRY(s) on her left. Kind of fresh, seeing what we would otherwise think as visual enhancements (but in this film are distractions to what matters) flattened, or coloured over. The music is also clean and wordless, and sound effects (if any) seem to be kept to the minimal.

The show has an enigmatic charisma to it, fresh, yet kind of depressing.

You think you live life alone because you are smarter than most, in fact, you live life lonely because you think you are better than others.

Thank Goodness I am not American.

http://www.nomarriage.com/

This site lists reasons contributed by married men, of why people should not marry.

The main reasons revolve around sex, (women's) fucked up personality issues,(lack of want for) children, and such.

Here's an excerpt:

"Prior to marriage: Real sex is unequivocal to anything else, including food and oxygen. Porn is only there if you're in-between girls. Up to four years of marriage: Sex is great and when you finish with the foreplay (usually 30 minutes of begging), you have a pretty good time. Porn is okay

"After four or more years of marriage: Sex = Been there, done that, nothing new. Porn is now the better since at least you're seeing something new and fresh. Sorry girls, we love you forever, but even eating steak and lobster gets old if you do it too much.

"My take on marriage: It's a great way to complicate an otherwise amicable business relationship with sex. "

---------------------------------------------


"Here is a typical married woman:

"I give birth to your kids and you complain we don't have sex? How do you think they were born, osmosis? Who takes care of them, drives them to school, picks them up for after school activities, drives them to sports, takes them to their friends houses, plays chauffeur, cleans, cooks, goes to PTA meetings and then caters to your sorry whiney ass when you get home. To top it off after you eat, fart or burp you walk out the door and go out with your buddies.

"You want sex? Go fuck yourself! I'm too tired."


Sounds like the men think more about worshipping their dicks then taking on the resposibility of children. Also, what about courtship during, and after marriage?

I would comment more on this, but I feel hyprocritical typing some of the mean things about American upbringing.

I'm just glad that my culture is different, and that Ryan and I have fun together and plan to, for a long time.

Addicted to spaghetti sauted with italian herbs.

that will be you.

"Me, too."

"Me, too." Haven't we all said that a million times. I remember saying it the most when I was young, so young I did not know how to hold a fishball with chopsticks.

Right.

That was the extent of our social skills and desire, acted upon so that we would not be The Freak. To be in the majority was our only concern. Says something about the kind of environment we live in, dunnit. Daring to be different was only possible when the rest of the kids dared to be different.

Cool kid: "I just love alternative music!"

"Me, too!"

Even in our phony working lives when we grow up, the metoo virus seems to have its voice.

Boss: "I just love the lastest spring line!"
"Me, too!"

Anyways, the pic above is irrelevant, just a punctuation. Taken on the day of outing with Isa, to do nothing and everything.

Here's she in one of my fav shots of the day. With the birds, and the erhm.. cows.


Here's she, being the indian she really is, on the inside.


And, I guess, to be fair, here's my silly shot- mainland style.


We then met Laine.


Indian! Lover!


And then I saw someone with as square a face as mine.

What kind of ghost would you see on a haunted beach?

A sandwich.

From a kid on TV. Cute, leh.

feline affection

Survivor Palau: Stephanie is the ONLY tribe member left in Ulong.

How cool is that? If I were her, I would totally try to spin this my way. It does look like she has it worse than Koror (opposing tribe with about 6? members left), having to do all the work in the tribe alone. On hindsight, she doesn't have to face the bitching from other people, especially women who talk alot and do no work. And she just has to provide for herself. Plus, when it comes to reward and immunity challenges, it's up to her, and if she screws up, at least she KNOWS the tribe (read:her) did its best. And if she wins, well.

Does this seem to reflect stuff about me?

Anyways, it's going to be interesting, I hope she doesn't have to merge with Koror, at least not so soon.

Baaazoooka.

Austin Power's on TV, I'm sunburnt, and we went to sentosa, again.




oh how i love this picture.



i direct gay porn.



this is about the best place on palawan.

You know how, sometimes you look at a photogaph of a pretty place, and you say, "Wished I could be in that picture!"

That somehow compromises the integrity of the place of which that photograph was taken, doesn't it.

My point is, the media, like television and print, and even more so the internet, has allowed us to look at many places and things we otherwise would never have seen. But sometimes we forget that actually seeing the non-virtual stuff should be what's real.

It's not about wanting to be in the picture, it's about wanting to be able to take that picture.

Wished I was there

You know how, sometimes you look at a photogaph of a pretty place, and you say, "Wished I could be in that picture!"

That somehow compromises the integrity of the place of which that photograph was taken, doesn't it.

My point is, the media, like television and print, and even more so the internet, has allowed us to look at many places and things we otherwise would never have seen. But sometimes we forget that actually seeing the non-virtual stuff should be what's real.

It's not about wanting to be in the picture, it's about wanting to be able to take that picture.

Hi Laaayyydies.

Been some time!

I'm late in the blogger project: I'm too sexy for my blog, but here it is, to scare.



This project was started by MrBrown and MrMiyagi (Google them), and I thought of Isa when I saw some of the contributions for the project. Yah, the gist is that people take pics of them faces with them tounges, and look sexy. I know mine looks scary, it's sort of to compensate because all of you who know me know that there's not an inch of sexy you can find on this piece o meat. Hahaa..

Big Fat Sunflower.

Bought a Big Fat Sunflower, so started flashing the camera at it.

Forgive our not very creative poses.

The classic flowerface.


Oh, flower, dog, flower.. All mine!


This is her curiously happy face, something she shows after you say anything vaguely interesting to her.
Also, some turbo-wagging action going on in the tail region, defying the shutter speeds of all cameras on this earth.The. Super. Dog.

Clothes. Provoke. Desire.

Clothes are a sign of the Fall, not because they conceal our God-created nakedness, but because they provoke desire.

Clothes. Provoke. Desire.

On the first glance, that's ultimate irony. If you thought in the most 2 dimensional way, without implications, clothes hid our naughty bits and prevented desire.

Let's imagine a world where clothes were not possible. In fact, in this world, clothes were not invented. People went about everyday business in the buff. Naked housewives carried naked babies and went grocery shopping. Naked bus drivers carried bus loads of naked passengers, who sat reading their books, or talking on their mobile phones. Naked judges presided over naked courtrooms. Naked professors lecturing naked students.

For one, it would be a cooler (LIANG) world out there. For another, naughty bits would no longer be naughty, because everyone sees everyone's everything everywhere everytime. Now, what's new? Admiring one's hot body would be like admiring one's curious hairstyle.

Maybe that is why clothes make the world a sexier place.

Falls into basic human psychology, forbidden fruits are sweeter!

Sometimes, I'm also not sure what I'm talking about, lah.

Woodspeople

"I could never understand the saying: Love means never having to say sorry. I think loving actually means being able to say those two words. It is only human to err. And if are lucky enough, we may even receive two even more powerful words: You're forgiven."



(If you told me you were going to leave civilization and live in the woods, I would bring some blankets and follow you. That is how I love you. Haha)

Can't sleep

You gotta see this! Listen to it, as well.
It's an ad for Honda's diesel engines.

http://www.foylesystems.com/downloads/the_ad.mpg

E-fuckin business

I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages on earth alone.



Seems like my body and mind are coming up with a scheme to stop myself from studying. For the last 4 hours, I have been in the kitchen, cleaning surfaces, clearing drawers, rearranging things, and scrubbing pots. Yes, me, do those things.

Anything but studying E fucking Business. OK, that was mean. I don't hate e-biz.

Here are some pictures from yesterday.

Angela is shy about showing her beautiful new teeth.


There we have it!


The ONLY shot on the beach.


The clouds and some coconut trees.


Checking out Rasa, ended up playing pool.


See those Angela-Rays? They're too bright even for Elaine.


Can't get enough of her new teeth.



Laine's trademark Sad Smile


My super girls!


And my favourite super guy. =)

Late night TV rules

This is probably not the first time I have said this, and I guess that makes me officially a bumming loser. haha..

Anyways, catch the Surreal Kitchen! And then hit www.foodnetwork.com and find Bob's recipes. They are SO easy, and if you watched the episode, you'll know how to make them even better, yet easier.

And if you don't enjoy cooking, you can always laugh at the big oven toaster of a vehicle.

I feel like blading!

Funny, how love can leave you lonely.

You be the soul of my eyes?

I did a little messing around in the kitchen, and though it was not very nice, my mom and Ryan were both very sweet and told me it all tasted good. =) Though I was dissappointed by the outcome, I was quite comforted by their thoughtfulness.

The dog, Ryan, and I snapped some shots.




We did the cliche "xi, nu, ai, le" (glad, angry, sad, happy) thing they always do on old taiwanese shows. Here's the dog doing Xi


Here she is, angry.


And, manipulated to look midly sad.


My favourite picture. =)



Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On a-Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me

Fill my heart with song
And let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, in other words
I love you

But you already know, right? =)